Rugs

Humans make better beds than rugs.

If cats were as big as dogs there wouldn't be any.

There must be fifty ways to nap comfortably on your human.

Why do they spay us when they are the ones overpopulating?

Kittens are cute; kids are not.

We don't bark; we purr.

We only get fleas from dogs.

Don't call us; we'll...no we won't.

Hold the door open for as long as it takes; it's a big decision.

If you don't clean the litter box you'll be sorry.

Hairballs are the price you pay for us being beautiful.

Zzzzzzzzzzz...Now what?

We don't rub against your legs because we like you; it means the bowl is empty.

The reason you can't sleep well is because you know too much. Turn off that noisy, nap disturbing TV.